Gathering Storm

We had another presentation in Marketing today. This was the second one for the subject. I think I did well. A friend of mine told me that she listened completely because it was interesting. My teacher did appreciate me pretty well. Guess I got into her good books. She said that I have creative writing skills and that I can make a place for myself in Marketing stream or in advertising. All that may have sounded good but I feel miserable with every comment and compliment. I must agree that I do realize I am good at things of this sort. Every time I do presentations or anything for that matter some sort of energy... and confidence... just creeps in and settles firmly inside of me. Now, the reason I feel sober is that I want to exhibit my aptitude and flair some where else where I am given recognition, encouragement and positive criticism. All I receive here is just positive feedback. No one can be perfect. And even if I do expect a different response they get an impression that I want to be praised further. I am just waiting to get away from here and start fresh some where else where I can face competition and clear cut answers.

Opening the DOOR

The magazine is going to be once again in full flow! I can only imagine the horrors I would be facing again. The other days I made a drastic and appropriate decision to step down as Editor-in-Chief. That was the best assessment I had done. I spoke over that to a few of my friends but they all seemed to have the same answer: You are Mad! Dawning comprehension. I had told a teacher of mine but she that I had to stick to that distinct (!) placement. So, all the reasons and rationale arguments I put forth just seem to wash over them like an insignificant bee buzzing by.

Then i sat down and gave it a deep thought. It seemed appropriate. I just couldn't and wouldn't give the satisfaction of me stepping down to anyone who wanted. I had opened the door to a thought and when I saw and felt the breeze of conception whisper through my hair and settle deep inside. When I felt that the decision I wanted to take was at hand, I closed the doors behind me feeling fresh and relaxed as never before. I had made up my mind to stay on for what I was intended for...

Albatross

Why don't anyone of us around give a thought to the environment we live around? How can poor little me make a mammoth size difference? The truth: Just your one unconscious act can make a life's difference. A few months ago I saw a BBC documentary ( BBC is a document worth watching. They put common environmental issues in a different perspective) on Albatross. As we know Albatross are really huge birds with a large wing span (around 3 to 3.5 meters). They are know enlisted as endangered species.

Out of the 20 species, 12 breed on New Zealand islands. Out of this 12, seven are endemic to New Zealand, which means they only breed on New Zealand islands and nowhere else in the world. Because so many albatross species live and breed in New Zealand waters and islands, New Zealand is known as the ‘Albatross Capital of the World’. This is a cool title. Albatrosses need protection from fishing, otherwise some species may become extinct and New Zealand would lose its title and that would be disastrous.

They are killed by the fishing method "longlining". Longline fishing boats unwind long lines off the back of the boat. Each line has hundreds of hooks with squid bait.

How do albatrosses get caught?

The albatrosses are attracted to the fishing boats because they know they can get a free feed. They try to take the squid from the hooks to eat. Sometimes they are successful and eat the squid. But a lot of the time the hook gets caught in their beak and they are pulled under water and drown.

The corks or items of general use which we toss in the sands of the beach attract these creatures thinking that it is their source of food. They feed these things to the young ones and they die due to indigestion. Researchers at the cost of New Zealand found the almsot decomposed corpse of the little birds. From their guts they retrieved all the indigested things which none of us will even imagine. They held up various objects like toothbrushes, corks, small tin caps, hooks, nail manicure sponges etc. All the things people are just likely to throw without even a backward glance. The one little can of soft drink we sip with just one little cork cap can kill a one little beautiful bird. THINK.

For more information see: http://www.kcc.org.nz/birds/albatross.asp

Alleged?

Allegations can be raw. When alleged allegations are thrown around and you come to learn of it later on, it is real frustrating as you missed the chance to rebuttal their statement. They speak as if they hold the knowledge of all that appears on earth. Your own suggestion is brushed aside when they realize that you do indeed know better than them. People love to complain about something that is easy to solve. They in turn drive the listners mad and even succeed in disolving them into tears. Senile Dementia is what people suffer from. If this medically accurate term is heard that it will result in another sort of complaining which will never end.

Fun filled Moments

Life is the same. The college is the same. A few things are different. Only a few gals have decided to come back from India. But the fewer the people the better. The part of the day I enjoy the most would be the bus ride back home. With my friends sitting next to me and cracking the stupidest of stupidest jokes and other standing jokes are just awesome. We laugh like tummies will burst any moment. It’s a moment in time which lingers in my mind for the rest of the day. The next day event places itself on the old ones and towards the end of time, I may not or will not any more those fun tickling experiences but I will definitely have stacks of these old days to browse through.

Return Journey

I came back from India on Saturday, 6th of September. It’s quite unbelievable that I had even spent my time there for the last one month and 4 days. For me like I said in my earlier post its like entering into a new realm, a new zone, a new dimension. It feels more like a dream and in India Saudi seems like a life beyond the horizon. To get to these two different destinations is one hell of an experience. I have to put my life’s worth into it. The traveling sickness gets the better of me and I arrive in both the places more like a patient whose long lost the ability to differentiate between happiness and sadness. All I can think of is an extra air sickness bag and a nice big huge comfy bed with at least 12 hrs of non stop sleep. The moment I step into the plane I frantically wish I were back in my bed lazing away time. Just the thought of having to go to India or to Saudi gives me an early headache. Many may suggest a variety of tablets to help me overcome this problem but nope says my father. You will change only when you change your attitude towards your problem. It’s more of a psychological problem really. Nothing less nothing more.

We did have the chance to stay longer in India but then I didn’t wanna miss two things in Saudi in relation to Ramadan: The taraweeh prayers and then the food. May sound a tad stupid but then every little wish does count, doesn’t it?

When I went for Taraweeh prayers last night I saw the streets bustling with life. But I felt so detached from everything. It didn’t give me the feeling that I had spent a long time apart from this place. I now feel like I don’t belong to India or Saudi. My soul is asking for a different life, something more exciting. I really can’t describe how it feels.

Maybe it will soon happen. After all Ramadan is the time for wishes and dua’s to come to life. Inshallah.

Different Zone

Its almost gonna be a week since I came to India. It was a rough journey for me coz I had a real bad jet lag. It felt like it was all worth it to meet the people you love you know. I miss you people honest. Nice to know that Aafreen laughed at my comment. Thanks for that though I didn't know what was soo funny. Hafsa I will try to be punctual k. By the way the marriage was a blast and i mean that!

The good news

My head is aching as I was forced to eat raw onion (the small one) which was placed inside a hamburger. It was soo strong that I ended up getting a headache. I could feel my eyes watering and guess there was steam from my ears. I got soo pissed off that I bit my tongue soo badly that it started to bleed! Sheesh. Even now I can feel the partial scabs i.e. to say if we get scabs on our tongues. Inspite of the ache I am sitting online surfing through every possible website as I have become an addict of games. So basically I am rampaging all over the place. Just two more days to go to India and I can't wait because my uncles marriage got fixed all of a sudden (Yes Hafsa this was one of d gud news) and also my Uncle (mamu) who I haven't like met for 4 years extended his holidays cool na (2nd gud news). I am dwelling my thoughts on these latest developments.

Time

Today was a horrible day coupled with 2 gud news also. Now how in the world am I supposed to react. Think about the bad stuff that happened or appreciate the good news Allah has given me. I am soo happy for the good news yet the dumb thing that haunted me still persists in my mind. I hope and pray that that crap will be removed. It may sound unbelieveable but writing what I feel on my blog seems to have taken the tension out of head. Maybe I'd better do this all the time then.

Prayer at right time

In a Hadith collected by Imam Bukhari it is narrated by Abu Huraira peace and blessings of Allah be upon him that Allah’s Apostle said, “Satan puts three knots at the back of the head of any of you who is asleep. On every knot he reads and exhales the following words ‘The night is long for you to stay asleep.’ When one wakes up and remembers Allah, one knot is undone; and when one performs ablution, the second knot is undone and when one prays the third knot is undone and one gets up energetic with a good heart in the morning; otherwise one gets up lazy and with a mischievous heart.”

In exchange for...

The man was hysterical. No amount of questions or helping arms reaching out to him helped him. He was wailing like someone who lost his possessions. He had lost his 3000 gold coins on board the ship he was sailing. The coins were inside a red bag. He cried out so loud that even the captain of the ship rushed to his aid and promised to find the thief. The captain consoled the man by telling him that the thief would definitely not have disembarked the ship. He then ordered for a thorough search of the whole premises. Every single passenger were checked and re-checked. People started to question the now moaning man if he had any recollection of the last place he had seen his bag. He seemed to be changing his statements with every question. Suspicion seemed to be looming in every ones mind. Everyone then came to a conclusion that the man was lying. They screamed and abused him. He turned red with embarrassment and shame. Another man was sitting far away from the chaos. The liar approached him and asked him where he had hid his bag of coins. The silent man simply replied that he had thrown it into the sea. The thief turned red again but this time with anger. He was shocked that he could have flung 3,000 gold coins into the sea. He asked him how he could have done such a stupid thing. The man again replied, “My dignity was more important than money.”

The thief had two days earlier acquainted with the man. They both developed a good rapport with each other. The other man remained ignorant to the plot that the crook had set up. The man told the liar that he was traveling for business reasons. The man then decided to put his plan into action the next day. Then what happened was what was seen earlier.
The man who threw away 3000 gold coins to uphold his esteem and respect was none other than Imam Bukhari.
We all know who Imam Bukhari was, don’t we? He is responsible for having collected almost 30,000 Hadith. May Allah be please with him.

Small Things...Big Difference

Every Muslim knows the importance in regards to the Friday prayers. In many a Hadith the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him was narrated as saying

“There is an hour (lucky time) on Friday and if a Muslim gets it while praying and asks something from Allah (azzawajal), then Allah will definitely meet the demand.”
And he (the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him) pointed out the shortness of that time with his hands.

I basically wanted to write this just to inform all of you about one thing. When we go for prayers we must go with that intention of prayer alone and not anything else in mind. We see people talk when the sermon or the Khutba is being delivered. What worshippers fail to realize is that speaking during the Khutba nullifies ones prayers.

Chapter 34 Hadith number 56 speaks in this regard as
Narrated Abu Hurarira (may Allah be pleased with him) that Allah’s Apostle peace be upon him said, “ When the Imam is delivering the Khutba and you ask your companion to keep quiet and listen, then no doubt you have done an evil act.”

Narrated Salman may Allah be pleased with him: The Prophet peace and blessings of Allah be upon him said, “Whenever the Imam is delivering the Khutba, it is essential for the audience to keep quiet and listen.”

So you see that the Khutba is not a just at the moment sort of speech. The time during the Khutba is considered very important as this Hadith states:

Narrated Abu Hurarira may Allah be pleased with him: The Prophet peace and blessings of Allah be upon him said, “When it is a Friday, the angels stand at the gate of the mosque and keep on writing the names of the persons coming to the mosque in succession according to their arrivals. The example of the one who enters the mosque in the earliest hour is that of one offering a camel (in sacrifice). The one coming next is like one offering a cow and then a ram and then a chicken and then an egg respectively. When the Imam comes out (for Jumu’a prayers) they (i.e. angels) fold their papers and listen to the Khutba.”

Even the angels hold this time as a very important time. If you do see anyone talking during the Khutba don’t admonish them but let them just carry on with it as it will our own consequence when we do try to fix them up. Maybe after the prayer is over you could approach them personally and speak to them regarding the matter. Fee amanillah.

P.S.: Any possible errors found in this post is welcome for rectification.

Blogger to angry to post today

True Strength

True strength doesn't lie in your ability to conquer the weakest or the most competent of contesters. It lies inside of you. It is characterized not by your body mass but by your character. No I did not make any errors when I said that. It is true. The most hardest thing, to be specific, to take down would be ANGER. Try controlling it when it is at its peak. Not possible. You must understand that it is an emotion that can serve very bad consquences like breaking up of relationships, misunderstandings etc. Take me for example:

I was VERY short - tempered. I used to get very angry and I would never bother putting a stop to it. But the results of that after- shock would be disastrous. Not for others but for ME. It eats me up because of the way I behaved with people around. Only after I read a beautiful saying did I realize the true importance of controlling your anger. Besides anger is from shaytan (satan) and to be so close to him in those regards is not what I or anybody would need. I tried to implement the saying and yes it was right. Ever since then I have been preaching the saying to everyone (not claming it to be mine o'course). Just like how small drops of water make a mighty ocean, so does unseemingly harmless anger create hige craters between relationships. So take care and watch your words that can actually ruin you.

By the way the saying i was talking about is this...

"The strongest amongst you is one who controls his anger best."

Narrated by Prophet Muhammad salla Allahu alaihi wa sallam

P.S.: This is in my own words but when inshallah I get the right words I will make the necessary changes.

FUN.....

MY exams/test are finally over. It all came to an end with a blast. I got great marks for the test which was not so shocking but it really did make me look like a BIG liar. My friends think I lied. Well am not gonna go over that subject again. I am tired of it. Right I am sitting and replenishing my blog over and over again to see if any one has posted any comment yet. I really loved my last post though. It was sweet yet had a true meaning through the depths of the words.

I am currently downloading cool games online and i guess they have so leavin this post hanging i say my byes. BYE

One True Line

It is not men who make Islam great,

It is Islam which makes men great.

With just a week to go to India, I am still in a different time zone. We still haven't started packing or even put an end to shopping. My dad is busy in his office. He's actually gone to Dubai twice in this month and is still planning to go again next month. Right now I'm writing this blog without any idea as to what to post. I feel sick-cold basically. I feel tired. I had spent a loong time sleeping today. I guess we just have to give a few more days for things to fall into place and then see what happens.

Saviour

In times of disparity,
Fill yourself with heartfelt gratitude,
Look towards the sky for signs of prosperity.
You will find your heart filled with hope and aptitude
To overcome what you felt.
I will be amongst the stars,
Tipping on you satisfaction and calmness apart.
I will rescue you from the bars
Of time and destiny,
Which even I maybe subjected to intolerably.
Liberate me from that mutiny
And I will retain your feat humbly.

Truth...

If i told you that I studied,
Then I did,
If I told you that I didn't study,
Then I didn't,
I don't lie,
I speak the truth,
Believe me if you want to,
It won't affect me in anyway.

This applies to this not also,
But in everything I say.
Believe me if you want to,
It won't affect me in any way.

Damn u Yahoo!

Yahoo messenger is a mean thing! Yest i had to online because my uncle and family in India had come online. I swear I tried to sign in almost 20 times! But noooooooooo... it wouldn't work. Creep. NOW when I just give that damn thing a try it works in a second. Hey have any of you conspiried against me with yahoo? Speak up then...

P.S.: The test was boring........

Tomorrow with Dread

Tension. Worry. Apprehension. Nervousness. Dread. Trepidation. Uneasiness. Anxiety. One person can’t feel all like this, right? I did. Tomorrow is our Banking Test/ Exam. I haven’t done anything yet. Well I did start. Then Juhi calls up and says that she had called up ma’am and she asked her to reduce the portion. Good Job Juhi (for once). So I relaxed and then I decided to study even later thats like at 4 in the morning. It feels excellent to study at this time. The morning time after Fajr is equal to the time you spend all night studying. I used to always choose this time to finish any unfinished portion. You can learn almost 3 chapters in just to hours! It doesn’t as such have a logic but some phenomena just take place without er…er…whatever. My brain is a little fuzzy (don’t say it always is hifi) because its 10:30 KSA time. I have to wake up at 4 o’clock in the morning to finish unfinished portion.

True Words Spoken

When I started this blog (after haifa’s recommendation) my only punctual (though I was never so punctual in posting) reader was Haifa. I had told a few of my friends about it. Well quite a few people do know that I blog yet they never read. I obviously can’t ask (or plead) them to read it all the time, right? At least sometimes? Nope even that was out of the question. I do understand that other people’s personal life might not seem to appealing to you. Maybe I was asking for too much? Yes I definitely did.
Then I realized that I was asking them a little too much. I didn’t like it at all. Even after informing about it they still weren’t ready or interested to read it. So what could I do? Like I said I didn’t like myself going down to such a low level asking OTHERS to read it. I have a dignity of my own you know (am very egoistic). After that all I did was just notify (?) them regarding the matter. Then I realized a saying which goes like “ Its not important how many a people are behind you because it’s a big deal even to make a few people follow you”. These aren’t the exact words but yet I find it very true and applicable to everyone around. So, after giving everything a good deal of thought I apprehended that fact that there are few, to be exact, only two of my friends who read my blog almost every single day. They are:

Haifa – who maybe reads it because I read her blog (he he no offense). She also comments on my blog you know only because I do that ( he he again no offense). She is also regularly online waiting for me to post only because I wait for hers ( he he again no offense… ya rite! I meant it this time hifi)

And not to mention the most sweetest of all persons

Hafsa
I so wanna thank you for showing interest in reading my blog everyday (dear fans she doesn’t have a blog but even then she reads it). Not only that she even takes the pain to comment on almost every post she started reading from. That is mighty sweet of you Hafsa. It does mean a lot. Plz fans don’t consider me to be an attention-seeking- prat. Am not. Its just that I truly and wholly appreciate the time you take out just to read my blog. To a person who wants to at least make some name among her friends like” Sarah posts excellent blogs you know? Read it!” Hafsa you are truly helping in this awarness campaign to spread my name. Jazakallahu Karia…

Ya (almost forgot) and also to you hifi.

To a Person It Concerns...

It was mighty "sweet" of you to write all that though I think I don't know exactly who you are. I don’t know what provoked (yes provoked) you to write it but you just did. Well I must say it sounded pretty good especially since you used your vocabulary skills on me.

We did know each other for quite a long time. 8 yrs like you kindly mentioned. There were obviously ups and downs not like anything major or unsolvable but still I think we did learn quite a lot from all that. Our 8th grade ain’t worth mentioning at all but I still will. We had a rough time I feel. Many misunderstandings. You never provided me with the opportunity to know you better. Till 8th grade you were just another friend. In 7th grade I don’t know why but I felt lonelier. We never interacted properly. Or maybe i feel so because my memory relating to those times disintegrated(?). But to be frank I really don’t know when we became so close. 9th, 10th, 11th, 12th? I have no idea. When I give all this a thought I can’t really point out the time when we knew each other better. Though I used to confide in you there where times even when I asked you why you didn’t unburden your heart to me you told me that it was’t necessary. Hey am not trying to put you down or anything or make it sound to all that I was right and you were mean. All I wanna say is that when you had gone to India in 11th grade and you had brought something back for me so that it would heal the “fishy” problem I had, words can never express what I felt… I was simply immersed in your thought the whole day. I just couldn’t express what I felt for you. No one really understood and nor do they understand what it feels like to have "fishy" with you. But what you did was absolutely incredible as I thought that I could finally see hope to become A ok again.

Unfortunately it didn’t work so much like what we wanted that thing you did, your act made me have increased respect for you. You made me feel better. You made me feel wanted. You made me feel that I was normal even though I felt otherwise. You made me feel that I had a BEST FRIEND. You made me feel more relaxed. You made me stop crying. You made me put trust in my heart that finally I will be cured. You made me say all this… you made me feel what I am. You made me…me. You may have not thought about the intensity of your act but I did think and I have never stopped thinking.

Even when I write all this for you, I can feel tears in my eyes. You are the jewel of my possession. I so wanna tell you “Be there for me”.

Please do things that we are supposed to do. Don’t ignore acts that are crucial for your survival in this world and in the hereafter.

In front of Allah I sit down humbly,
My thoughts turn to words,
And I repeat them slowly.
I thank Him with all that it takes
That I wasn’t given a friend who may fake.
As my tears spill quietly down my cheeks,
I remember you with every beat of my heart.
I feel a feeling so intense
I didn’t know that it was just feelings so for you.
The I realized that it was because I love u.

This is my first poem for you.
A little crude it maybe
But its so from the deepest depths of my heart I can reach.
This is not written to please you.
I wanted to tell all this to you one day
But then I wanted that day to be today.

I love you and you’re another part of my dismal life. When times of need you are indeed a TRUE FRIEND

U had asked 4 it...H...a

Too bad a luck am having... sheesh. After having like nearly taken 76 mins pain to download the Yahoo yesterday ( not to mention dail up connection), it finally started to stop working. Can you believe that? Yahoo beta 9.0 is not delivering the requirments needed by any Yahoo user. I'm now presently spending another hour to download the old version. Maybe thats why they say "old is gold." I went for somthing glittery and blop... thats why they say "all that glitters is not gold".

Well moving from any other further aphorisms, we went to college and gave Ma'am the way she wanted the paper (refer to earlier post). A friend of mine, Hafsa, was even absent for that reason. But Hafsa you missed a-not-so-bad-day you know. Well Ma'am did seem to be fine about it. We pestered her to close down the insititute before 30th and that is under consideration.

After that we had a nasty time...blah....blah....blah.....(how boring even for me to reiterate the whole day)

As i was sayin gettin back to the aphorisms "Time and tide waits for none" so hafta catch the high tide....

Nu yahoo

From today inshallah i need not rely on d most terrible n d slowest n d most unupdated yahoo mail messenger. I finally downloaded d nu yahoo messenger beta cool aint it? I was soo glad bout that. Right now there is not a Soul online. i thiught atleast cinnamon wud b online but nope no gud. Well ppl hurry up n come online.

IS IT REally...?

I see a small girl, a cute one actually. She is all so bubbly the kind of kid that helps you kill time when needed and when not needed. Her exceeding naughtiness makes her more than adorable. Being loved is not a strange feeling to her. She is naïve to the occurrence of the future and unaware of the past. Speculations that life may not be static are not seen is her ever move, every emotion, every act. She would never vision to face millions and millions of problems and even yet ecstatic joy.
Her adamancy makes others confused and sometimes angry but not always. Though a tiny tot she sees thinks from a different perspective. Not the kind we adults would take things as.
I wish I would get to know her. I wish I had met her… yet all these wishes are just mere desires. They are nostalgic feelings. I see the pictures of me when I was young. Yet I still feel that she is not me and I am not her. The innocent expression, the happy feelings, excitement for the tiniest of tiniest things, I find my self wishing that she was someone I could cuddle rite now.
She is me yet I am not her. I find myself almost in tears to see that this girl has just become a memory captured from the past put behind a cover and waiting to be opened once again in order to replenish the thought, the sight and even the voice of her.
Yet I still feel that she is not me and I am not her…

Sudden Interest

Am just sitting here doing absolutely nothing. I kip thinkin as 2 wat shud i do. So am bloggin now. The 2nd post on d same day which is shockin coz i nvr opened dis blog for almost a month. Everytime i come online i open my blog n straight away proceed 2 open my frnd's blog also. I then check if any nu comments hv been posted n then i post my own into my frnds. So this is how it is going on...Sudden interest in things can be frightenin u kno. But at d same time it feels nice. Well then t'care my fans. Another Day...

REality...

In continuation of the previous post we got our test results. I had scored like the usual by getting er…er…well not so pleasant marks but I still managed to scrap the 3rd highest which was pretty gr8 and not unexpected. Well that day is almost gonna end. Now all I gotta do is look forward to the weekend and study as much as I can and finish my power point presentation for Saturday.
When I got back home I saw all the things scattered around the room. My mum was actually preparing the things that need to be taken to India. Come to think of it we have like 17 days to go to India. How do I feel? Basically a mixture of anticipation and excitement. Lets c what happens later on… ta ta…

Another Day

Finally the (so-called) computer exam got over. It was a total disaster I suppose. The worst part is that the scale of devastation will be revealed on the day after the calamity took place (emphasis of how terrible and dumb the test was!). She not only wants the signature of our fathers (like that wasn't enuf) she also wants our dad's to comment on our performance… Outrageous…She has this knack of making things a big DEAL when it is nothing but mere waste of time… Anticipation of waitin 4 tomorrow is killing me… Someone help me escape this cruel destructive world for a matter of an hr… Plz someone hear my plight… For the sake of humanity… For… hey wait a minute WHAT am I doing? Pleading? That's the highest pt I can stretch my esteem… sheesh… All of you 4get what I said…Memory Obliviate…

DEAR FRIEND...!!!

My best friend has a blog n wow does she kno how 2 write. She thinks that i don't read her blog...but everytime i do read it (no offense intended best frnd) i hate u... U write soooooooo well n i get soooo jealous for that. Where did u learn that language frm? God! How i wish that i had ur English. I am a fanatic of english i wud anything to talk hi-fi, to understand ALL d jokes they say in F.R.E.I.N.D's, to understand Shakespeare (if that is TOTAL neccissity), to...er...to...nvr go stumbling for perfect wrds like now, to make ppl go "AWE", to breathe it, to feel it, to eat it...like someone said "I can talk in English, walk in English and sleep English". Dear friend atleast for d sake of our friendship temme d secret behind ur's n i'll tell u d secret behind mine...

Poetry???

My ending for e-education debate...
If e-education were to replace the prevailing system of education then we will sooner than later lose the ability to write or communicate, which took decades to master. The soft rustle of the leafs of the textbooks, the touch of parchment, the loving hands of our teachers all will be replaced by nothing but mere cold keyboards and emotionless thought processor.

Today might be or maybe is the day I sound relaxed. That’s because we almost had a gr8 day. The debate took place as scheduled and I and Hania were doing the debate together more like split-split. They there were objections to that we finally came out as winners. The teachers and students liked the speech I guess. The rebuttal was of course a big and I mean BIG fiasco. They were actually just 4 people debating and I was not amongst them as I thought my part was huge and I had done it successfully. It would have been better if someone had not targeted me personally. I got no opportunity to retaliate and even if you had everyone around would assume that I initialized the fight. Who cares? Go to Hell. I swear if she had done that to some one else they would have eaten up her flesh (personally I don't have any appetite for humans especially her flesh!!!? I'd rather eat my veggies). So ends another day another dramatic one yet an almost nice one

My friend called me up after a long time. It was nice talking to her. It may sound made up but yesterday was again the 4th depressing day again. But Wednesday was by far the most painful day ever. I had done something totally wrong and unintentional to a friend of mine. I apologized from the deepest depths of my heart but then it was of no use. She said she cudn't accept my apologies. I prayed and asked Allah to help her forgive me. I hope it happens soon. If you are reading this then I am sorry again. It may sound lame but do I have another way out?

oNCe aGAIn...

Today had been another disheartening day. I and Hania sat down to discuss the debate pts but that jus kinda succeeded because everyone was coming and going, distracting basically. Before that I came to know that the debate was again postponed to Saturday and the gals were seeking permission for that. The other teachers agreed though the other teacher didn't seem happy. She called me and asked me what was going on and I told her that I had no idea about it. She was kinda upset and informed me that they had decided to form a Commerce Association and that the leader would from the third years. At least that would put a stop to the confusion that’s going around. I am not at all to blame if people are not informed about anything. Even when I try to inform people about it they give stupid looks or comments that are very annoying and offending. Finally I have no choice but to make a decision and when I do that I am again branded with a name that I never consult anyone. Well if you think so to then just think about how you behave with the girl who asks you for her opinion. And if she does make a conclusion of her don’t blame her plz…

"Speaking out my soul"

Once again after a long time,
Life is going on as usual. Nothing interesting as such. I started my 2nd yr with the same batch mates and the 2nd yrs have now become 3rd yrs. We now also have the 1st yrs along with us. They are sweet and nice. They get along well. They speak well. They interact well. They all seem to be well. So this Wednesday I thought we'd better get on along with some activity and hence I decided to "speak out my soul".
Sometimes it's so bad that u can't jus speak what's on your mind. So usually what I do is vent out all my anger by speaking other things. It's not like anger as such but just wanna speak out the built up frustration or whatever it is in me. Just to start this debate what all I had through. I had to get the permission (am not complaining much about that as I got it easily n smoothly), talking to the girls about it. Their looks and raised eyebrows. God! They like treated me like a freak. I was nearly gonna burst a vein but nope I wouldn't rupture my valuable nerve just for them. Ya rite! A sudden thought of calling off this came into my mind. Why do I have to do things? Why doesn't anyone realize that I love to debate? The first time I heard that we do not have those sort of competitions that we had in school I became upset more like depressed.
Well quickly moving away before the past can overwhelm me now sticking to the present… where was I? Ah yes…I then decided debating is my passion. In this institute that I study holding activities is the only entertainment as bunking is out of the option. I am the only one who knows how much I love debating so I decided that I would never cancel the debate and if I wanna do what I like best then its up to me to do it. When people were more like having a debate over the topics to choose I made up my mind and as soon as the last class got over I decided the topic and made chits to fix on who was for and who against the topic "Can e-education replace classroom teaching?"
To be frank when I expected my friends to help me be there for something I wanted to do I see absolutely no one. At least I learnt that when you wanna do something your heart desires then its up to YOU only to make it possible. I may have learnt it on a small scale but I'm still glad that I did. Hope the day goes well…Wish me luck.

WhO KnOwS mE bEtTeR tHaN mE?

Times are changing me. I guess people are changing me. No wait, people's attitude is changing me? I can't point my finger at something specific but something is triggering me to change (not that I am complaining off). Usually I am the sort of a person that when faced with something crucial and everyone is complaining about it I never open my mouth. Maybe its because I think that the situation will soon wear off and everything will be normal. But nowadays things do not seem to leave me untouched. I used to have a problem with something then I used to complain big time! But then I quit complaining and took some action on the spot. I thought that was a good thing but I thought wrong. It just seems to put me more into a bad light than a good one. Not that I care anymore because come to think of it I used to be more worried as to how people would judge me with every move, every action, every word, every expression, every everything. Then I realized that it was not people who were noticing me but it was myself who was putting me into the spotlight. Then again I decided to change for the better. And now to a certain extent I don't care how people review me. I decided to live for myself and am glad to say that after a few falls and sorrows I can finally see the light!

Hidden

Once an old man along with his 30 yr old son were travelling in a train. The son was unusually happy enjoying the view whizzing by outside. He admired all the trees and moutains flashing and moving past his window that all small things made him jump with joy. He was retaining the old man's attention by talking and showing him all the things he saw. The co passengers were undoubtedly surprised at the young man's attitude. They kept wispering amongst themselves and lauging at him. Then all of a sudden the it started drizzling. Everybody moved away from the window to avoid getting wet. But the young man was enjoying getting wet. A newly married couple were among the commuters seated in the vicinity of the young man. The wife wispered to her husband," I think he is crazy. Just look at him getting wet. Ask him to close the window." The husband obliged and rudely asked the young man to close the window. The young man's face fell and he closed the window pane. Th old man who noticed all this kindly said to the husband," You see my son had an operation. Just half an hour ago he was given vision being blind 30 yrs of his life."

Problems & problems.....

Life has become unbearable for soo many surrounding me. You cud say regarding petty things but if I actually said dat den i wud go against my own sayin of significant problems. In spite of all these i free good to say that i am standin strong 2 all of it when a person like is bound 2 get easily affected. My temper has started rising if any1 says smthin stupid. Some of my frndz r claimin dat i dey commit suicide its all coz of a subject mayb. Hey i'm not dat stupid 2 say dat dey were serious but i just hate such stupid talk when it falls on my ears. U cannot even b +ve (my blood grp is O+ though) dey call ya Ms.Positive Thoughts & if u r -ve then Ms. negative. So wht r v like supposed 2 do? Change accordin 2 ur mood?
Wrong track... like i said they r actually frettin over silly things dat r bound 2 pass up. If u hv a problem worryin is noooo solution but if u hit d road & start analyzin d situation den mayb v can wrk out a plan. Y don't v understand that!!!
Well Bahrain trip dat is scheduled for d end of feb is nearin 2 b a total disaster. No students, no parents r comin sooo u kno d tension & d fury of last minute cancellation?
But don't fret ppl coz it will all pass jus like d story of a king & the priest...

Kip ur faith in God coz he doesn't let anythin befall on His slaves unless He wants them to endure it...

My ambititious ambitions

Like all young (not to mention gr8) minds i wanted to be a docter, though i decided in advance that i wud a nurse for giving injections coz d thought of a sharp pointed needle puncturin a hole in a smooth flawless skin was nauseaus ( i feel like faintin). Even recently i had a faintly fainting experince. Leave that mayb in another blog...
Ya like i said after looking at the amount of BIOLOGY v hadda study i dropped d heavy idea. But before that i had loads & loads of hopes. Check out THE options (mayb interest's u cud say)...

• Gyno
  
• Paediatric
  
• BDS
  
• Cardio
  
• Forensic Science ( i'd still love 2 do dat)
  
• Interiors
  
• Architecture
  
• Biotech
  
• Engineering (2 sum extent)
  
• Writer
  
• Microbiology
  
• Islamic Sha'ariah
  
• Teacher
  
• Mathematician (oops...he he...wrong list)
  
• Chef!!!
  
• BCA
  
• Graphic designer
  
• Accountant (doin it)
  
• Editor (kinda fulfullin dat now)
  

Well if I included any more fields u wud probably think dat i am fakin, which i bet u already have started doin. It doesn't matter. U cannot hv everthing in life na? Stick 2 wht happens and live up 2 it. Learn frm me ppl!!!

Writin down wht u feel

We think alot of things, but do we ever pen 'em down? Nope. But when those thoughts turn to words and ensues wonder from your mouth, ppl go like "wow!!!" "nice". Well I experienced that today. So I took a major decision to write it all down so that u may read it & understand it (if possible) he he....
Here goes

* If u want to hide something then hide it but don't lie about it.

* Contributions need not be great the fact that you want to do so is in itself great.

* Everybodies problem is significant for oneself no matter how the other might perceive it.

* Never say "I understand" to one facing a bad situation when you have no idea as to how she or he feels ( ma frnd, though, contradicts)...

* If you don't get the thing you want desperately then wait maybe you might get something better (hope 4 d best).

* If anything gets delayed or you get late, never get upset, as it was all for the best. If you still don't agree, then you don't believe in Allah's decree.

* In life love was never planned, nor does it happen for a reason... It becomes a plan for your life and a reason for your living.

* If a person goes astray never ascertain that he won't find his way... Because if Allah wills or thinks, that person will never sink.

Go on ppl hit d pen on d paper and c how u yourself savour...

Y is everything soo weird??

After a loong and stressful period my 2nd little post...

You kno how life can b when u hv nothin ta do 'cept worry? Well lemme tell u ppl its a dragggggg. Things that may seem kiddish or even insignificant to u r actually botherin me at d moment. Like

Worry no.1: My friend(s) doesn't talk 2 me properly, i dunno y... neways doesn't matter (really?)

Worry no.2: I hv (or had) been appointed as The Ultimate Editor-In-Cheif for our 1st university magazine (whoopie) but den as d deadline seems to b comin closer & closer then eva i think d woopie will hv 2 be striked off. D magazine has not like even started & i feel like a lousy leader (so much 4 my profile)...

Worry no.3: Yesterday while on surfin i came across smthin dat shud not b seen nor thought off... t'waz lyk lodged in me brain but now i guess its kinda b slowy & unconsciously erased (don't get me wrong)

Worry no.4: Computer project that seems 2 hv no head nor tail & our teacher tries 2 explain by teachin us d position of d head & tail by showin us d hand & d leg...

Worry no.5: Hello did u lyk expect me 2 rite another thing stressin me?? Am i a human or a..er....er.... girl???!!! (lousy question)

Like i already told u, my problem may b soo silly but like i say.... everyones problem is significant for oneself no matter hv d other perceives it.

Well then hvin explained nothin in detail fruitfully bout my mental stability y don't all of "U" stop readin dis & get ready ta drown in ur worries? wink...

Death.... & life???

In the words of a very famous writer,I quote
" Every thing has death, except death itself."
The above said is a simple yet a true sayin.

All around we turn, the topic of death is tossed and turned near our faces like it is of a mere plaything. The kind of true, deep, unhidden meaning and emotion the word used to spark through our bodies is now replaced with an indifferent, unsymphatetic spirit. Any human great or common, knowlegable or ignorant, big or small acknowledges the thought of death at least once in there lives. This thinking of having to face death, which will put a stop to this wordly life is definetely unnerving. But that attitude is for one weak at heart. The traces of death is everywhere in the "civilized world" where every barbaric act claims a life. These so called wars-for- democrcay, wars to make this life better is utter gibberish and misjudged.
Why would anybody want to reform the earth into a haven for living at the cost of millions of innocent and unconnected lives? The rivalry in Palestine, Iraq, Afghanistan, Kashmir, Albania, Chechenya, Sri Lanka, Kenya, the civil wars in India, what end has this brought us to? A few of these countries maybe on the news everyday but what about the rest? All long, lost and won? The wars are erupting and on going. There will be no solution to it. The outcome which the concerned wanted is not seen, the result of lives lost is what the heartless ones wanted and they get it.
All these thoughts and views may sound far away to us, but we are the audience sitting in an ampthitheatre without tickets looking at the massacres taking place in front of our eyes. What is the difference between us of now and the speculators of the gladiators of the past, who got themselves killed or eaten up by an animal to prove there worth?
People dying in 10,000's is considered horrible. 10 people killed is not news anymore!!! We, the citizens of the world, the educated mass, the creatures bereft of feelings fail to consider that just one death in a family is the most major tragedy in that lineage. We humans feel so sad when we experince or see the death of a close relative that one death almost equals the death of the whole world for us.
Have any of us felt that loss? Loss of a parent or siblings. Just those thoughts will give us nightmares. Read the following incidents:

Once a woman was bathing her 40 day year old beautiful baby when the Isralities bombed the place. That left her dead and the child alive. Wht difference does that make? The child is going to grow motherless or imagining or trying to imagine her mothers' last touch.

Or how would we feel about a woman who in the time of her labor was forced to go past the Israel soldiers, who refused to let her husband accompany her to the hospital. How would a woman feel if the father of the child is no where in the picture when their baby is being born into this disgraceful, sinful world? The story doesn't stop there. The woman gave birth to a beautiful baby and she was filled with tears of joy when those tears would be later shed for her dead husband.

All these are real. This is not said to seek empathy but to prove as an eye opener to the atrocities around us. We the people living in a different peaceful world enjoy luxuary and comfort. We do not have any thoughts disturbing us albiet unnecassry ones.
We worry, we worry as to how our friends or teachers treated us. We worry about the row we had with our loved ones or even our enemies, we worry about our homeworks or assignments, we worry about the still- to- shop- for- new- clothes- to- the- party, we worry about our empthy cosmetics boxes, we worry about whether our friends would get us the movie we wanted to watch.
So many worries yet all inconsequential & trivial.
Do we worry about the fact that it might be the last time we see our families alive? Or the possiblity of getting blown up?
Our anxiety is not in connection with the ones who will face an imminent death in the warfront. Our fear is not concerning that, it totally comprises of other useless distractions.
There are to be frank little we can do to help the people caught in the conflict. But the saying goes,
" Prayers can move mountains." If we atleast pray for there prosperity to the Almighty we can atleast assure ourselves that we are doin a great service to the humanity at large.
We conclude by saying contributions need not be great the fact that you want to is itself great.