Foolish Stance

I embarrassed myself today. So much so so so much. I do not how to describe what I feel. My email to a particular person was taken in the wrong manner. Or maybe it wasn't and I look like I took the reply in the wrong way. Either ways I still feel embarrassed and stupid! I should not have even replied and worse my answer was forwarded to that person. I must have looked like a loser who didn't even know the basic issues in Islam. I should be given a good kicking or yelling from someone. I did agree with what all the person said. Such perfect words and thorough research. Very impressive. May Allah make that person more strong in their Emaan and Taqwa. Inshallah!  

 I am soo sooorry... I didn't mean to compare at all! I would never never do that. Its not in my nature to compare. Please accept my apology. You can do as you wish and as you like. My initial decision was not to put forth any demands and let the person do whatever they could. People confused me. (I should stop being so influenced!).Whatever it is you are capable I will give my consent to it. I may have the right to ask for it but I do not have the right to ask more than what the person can do. That would be down right Zulm (injustice) on my part and a relationship must not start on demands.

 Now how do I express all this? I can't email because I am restricted. But I so wish that I could have a heart to heart conversation and clear everything up. I so do not know how I portrayed myself. I wish the person could read this but then again I do not know if the person might.

 Oh Allah, Please make my heart be strong and not write anything more foolish and dunce like! I can find no helper except You.

"No amount of guilt can change the past & no amount of worrying can change the future. Go easy on yourself, for the outcome of all affairs is determined by Allah's decree. If something is meant to go elsewhere, it will never come your way, but if it is yours by destiny, from you it cannot flee."

Umar Ibn al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him)