Marriage?!

I am losing track of days and dates. Today is Wednesday apparently. Wow. 4 days since I came back from India. Three Ramadan's have got over. Alhamdulillah. They all went smooth. I have to enjoy all this while I can. It feels like that. I am worried that all the habits that I have made for myself and feel so comfortable in will be replaced by something vastly different. 

 And I am talking about Marriage. Sometimes I truly wonder if it is essential. Islam says that it is. Marriage is like completing one's faith. Why does it have to be a scary ordeal. Usually when we do not like something we can back off. Marriage isn't like that. Its about commitment. Heard this term too many times for my liking.   

 We have to live with someone we do not even know! AT ALL! We must adjust and change our behavior according to what they like. Men usually think that they can dominate women and they are like their personal slaves. I am not a feminist. But to make the marriage work both the husband and the wife must be equal. They must trust each other, believe in each other, respect each other. The husband must discuss with his wife in any matters he thinks is vital for the family. He must not assume superiority.  

How do we know we met the perfect match? For that we must at least interact once or twice with our fiance or fiancee's. Islam allows that but our societies and cultures thinks that its a modern approach and hence the bride to be and the groom to be must not interact. How lame! Islam is favored when they find that the rules in the Shariah are to their liking. Wherever the grass is green yup they love that side even if it is illegal territory.

I feel apprehensive when I think of all this. How will my future husband be like? Everyone and anyone can be good. I have heard soo many people vouching that he is a good person. Inshallah I hope he remains so. Unfortunately I have to rely heavily on hearsay. 

 When I accept the fact that I must accept him... FINE. DONE. But its not only him that will enter my life. It's his family. His parents sound soo great. MASHALLAH for that. What about his other family members? How will I ever interact with them? My friends tell me that I am weird when people meet me for the first time. Since I am usually quiet in the first few meetings they assume that I have an attitude problem and that I think too highly of myself.

I am shy and I do feel shy (my friends will really debate this and will probably ask me to erase this statement). Ya guys I do feel shy. I show it out in the wrong way. I become a little edgy and rude (unconsciously). Then again like my friend said it will be days before I look up to see my husbands face. Inshallah. At least let him believe that I do possess shreds of shyness.


I did hear more about him indirectly also. He has so characters I really wanted him to have. Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah. I can't mention them here but I felt so beyond happy and elated when I heard all that. May Allah make him firm in his deen and may Allah protect him from all the fitnah. May his family be the best for us and be compatible with us. May we both inshallah complete our faith with each other. And may we be the best of examples for others. Ameen!

Finally I have to come to one decision and one solution. Pray that Allah makes all this easy for me. It will be freaking easy for a guy to accept changes because he doesn't have to live in the bride's home. Opposite to that a bride has to face MAJOR changes. She must accept her husband and his new family and live in his family when he is NOT there! I can't breathe when I think of all this. 

One thing left to say: Nasrun minallah! Help is from Allah alone. Ameen.